Endings and beginnings
Change of seasons, change of tactics
In New York we’re three days away from the school year ending. In the runup to it we’ve charged through an onslaught of class picnics, pajama days, dance parties, field days, teacher gifts, performances, and special snacks. A lot of work, and a lot of fun, too.
Through the brain-squeezing task of keeping all these activities straight, I’ve appreciated the regular rhythm they collectively represent, one that fades away in adult life: The passing of time as marked by a school year — something ending so something new can begin.
Throw on top of this that our twins turn one this week and now the nostalgia machine is cranked up to bolt-rattling levels.
As these things make me sharply aware of the time that is always passing quietly all around us, I’m getting my own end-of-something feeling.
Two weeks ago I told you I’ve finally built a real habit around writing and last week I pledged to finish a draft of my novel by the end of the year (and that I had no idea how I would do it).
As I opened my Google doc to write each day this week, throwing down 25 new words didn’t feel like the right tool anymore. It feels like it’s time, at least right now, to move bigger pieces around and see what they add up to.
I will keep writing most days so I’ll be notching those 25 words as a byproduct, and the thought of doing something small should still be my way into doing this work instead of being overwhelmed by it, but it won’t be the only goal.
A friend and writer I respect offered to read whatever I wanted to send her. It’s a chilling thought that someone will read what I’ve been working on and have thoughts and opinions on something I don’t consider complete. I don’t even like it when someone watches over my shoulder as I type emails at work. But I also know I’m ready for something new to shake things up and, I hope, help me take a jump forward.
I’ve given myself until June 30 to send her my pages. Check back next week to see if I was brave enough to follow through.
Week 17: Hope it’s a happy ending
Some everyday: Yes
Words: Many edited, some added
See you next week.